Its been years since either of us posted here, real life came into play and BDSM got pushed further and further back. I was sitting here today reading all the posts we had both written, about how excited and amazing this scene was to us, about the communication between us, about the love we felt for each other. It made me realise a lot.
Over the last few years real life took over, we both had that damn recession to get through, I had previously been married and had 2 children and they began to enter our lives much more, in the past year I was made redundant, I have attempted to rebuild my career putting hours into making it work, Sarah went through changes in her career too, her family went through some tough ordeals and life became normal dealing with issue after issue. Unfortunately the excitement waned, we both loved each other but our lives had become mundane.
Undocumented here would be loads of other things BDSM wise that we tried, for instance Sarah’s collection of Latex grew and grew, I think it is obvious reading back how it was obvious that would happen, her shoe collection also grew, I got myself a catsuit, starting getting into gas masks and other paraphernalia. We went to lots and lots of different clubs in Ireland and abroad continuing to explore this world we had embraced, but with all the other crap in life, all this started to dwindle away.
I don’t believe for a second either of us enforced this to happen its just the way life goes. The most scary thing though for me was seeing how 3 years ago our communication had a chance to breathe, real life squashed that for us. We stopped communicating as well as we had done before, not because we did not want to but because we had so much other stuff going on in our lives taking over precious time that should have been allocated to us.
I was reading one post I wrote and saw how much I obviously used to speak to Sarah about my emotions, something familiarity with each other may have squandered I also see how Sarah used to feel she could communicate with me but stopped with all that was happening in my life, it is something I think we both regret now.
The last three years have been good to us we are both healthy we have not had nervous breakdowns, we never really fought even going through all the turmoil, but not great if you compared it to the previous two years and the two of us, subconciously, drifted apart. BDSM was not at fault for this but I believe if we had had the time to continue exploring it in more depth and as silly as it sounds had even even to post here, it may have helped bring back some of that excitement that was missing from our lives.
Our relationship has now ended and it is with great regret that we have allowed this to happen, but hey people drift apart. I know we both will remain very good friends but we are just not partners anymore. I suppose what I am trying to say here is don’t ever allow yourself to lose that communication be it in a vanilla relationship or a BSDM one. Only by giving each other time and talking and listening will you be able to work on getting the excitement back, don’t let the mundane day to day life take over, life is far to short.
And so ends the adventure of ‘this’ dirty duo, hopefully reading how we used to communicate will help bring something to your relationship, but from us both thank you for been part of it.